Insecurity, Relationships and How Social Media Can Help.
After about two-years or so of steady dating, I decided to take a break. I started to notice I was dating because I forgot how to be alone and independent. Luckily, business started to pick up – by my standards, probably not by yours – it helped to preoccupy part of my time. I set a couple financial goals which tighten the discretionary income, and of course I’m a single divorce parent, so my visitation schedule completed my free-time.
While dating, I realized a leopard can only change their spots so much and I’m well aware of how much this leopard can change.
So what spots are make or break that I’m focusing on, when I actually do decide to date again? What in your past dating was the straw that broke the camels back? If everything seems to work, for me the biggest deal breaker was inconsolable insecurity.
What’s inconsolable insecurity?
Thinking the waitress is better looking than you, even though your date is actively listening to every word your saying and says, “they are having so much fun with you, or compliment you on your hair color”.
Accusing your partner that they are cheating on you, after they came home late from work, then still not “putting out” after they bring home a fat paycheck the following week. (a period only last seven days, just saying)
Insisting on turning off the lights during sex, okay that’s just my pet peeve. I figured I just sneak it in here. But seriously, you got a spray tan but not the wax, then want the lights out. (know what’s hairy, Guys!)
So if your self-esteem is tied to satisfying the guy, let’s keep the light’s on. If it’s about being insecure about your body, let him have a little porn to watch to refresh the mental Rolodex. If it’s about satisfying you, at least turn the light on at the end for the poor guy.
Okay enough about my pet peeve and back to inconsolable insecurity.
Let’s face it, unless your a Spring Chicken. You have skeleton’s in your closet. So how do you make your inconsolable insecurity into consolable insecurity? Oddly enough, the root of all divorces, Social Media.
I actually gave a girlfriend, who distrusted technology, all my passwords, access to my laptops, and a Synced the iPhones. She pretty much had my entire history to overcome her insecurities and her insecurities threw everything back in my face. (Hey, I ain’t no angel, but I’ve learned from my mistakes, and like it or not that’s who I am) Needless to say, I reread “10 Ways to rid yourself of a troublesome roommate”, then discussed it with a well educated therapist and then the ex-wife. (my daughter’s alway first)
Remember, when your at this point, no touch, no alcohol, no drugs. You must be completely level-headed. (unless you have a good lawyer, then the cost analysis just doesn’t work out).
Let’s get back to Social Media, if you’re in a healthy relationship, then it’s actually can be a source of strength for your relationship.
I’m still single, so I’m really not the person to be giving advice, but since I have ten-fingers and a happy daughter, I will.
Exchange Passwords, Turn On your GPS during all communications. That will give you instant access to the Now. If your Insecurity is still creeping in, Call and Listen to the background, ask talk to someone, ask them to Facebook message you with their GPS.
If that’s not enough to conquer “your insecurities”, then either they’re not the one for you or your not the one for them, either way move on.